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Sweet Bullets of Solitude

Firstly, welcome to Newgrounds. Thank you for submitting your first piece.

Bullet! It's a slight reminiscence of the noir genre and is spoken both softly and loudly in poetic way. It conveys emotions and lets the music speak for them. It wasn't actually that long - but the content is compacted which makes it a deep, well felt minute.

Personally I loved the content. I feel rather subjective about it because it shows a many abundance of feelings that blanket me; guiding me along. Its style seems similar to many Mangas but projects itself like a dream although it does make it a little harder to understand its point. It is short and you could have made it longer simply by guiding your creations along with the words of the song.

Although you claim to be an amateur at this you shouldn't call yourself a newbie. Your animations are actually mediocre, which is good because it shows a noticeable amount of skill. The details were actually quite astonishing. You put brick walls, pictures, dark blue clouds, headphones, angel wings and more. There is plenty to see and most of it is only noticeable on replays because much of it is happening fairly quickly.

The only real draw back is the quality of the actually drawings. They are very messy and a little unrealistic {eg - seeing skin inside people's mouths.} It just isn't neat enough which is a shame because your actual still drawings are quite good.

The audio... it speaks for itself. The music and the flash became one because you created, in essence, a music video {a video of the music,} which is quite special. The audio quality is great and suits the flash perfectly; although this is only because you interpreted it right. There is no strict general theme to it so it doesn't really require music with a theme.

It was my taste, but it might not be the taste of everyone. You need to keep in mind that really good drawings pay off as it reflects a skill that helps project the message and point of your flash {knowing somebody has put hard work into their flashes makes the message stronger.}

Although not a major flaw, the flash is too short. Short flashes can work but never really give that sense of experience because there isn't enough time for the viewer to become familiar with his/her surroundings, but your message was so powerful I felt it very quickly. It seemed longer than it actually was. For the length presented though you gave it a fair amount of oomph and I can see that. You need to work on drawings and make them look sharper, neater and cleaner.

I am personally touched by your flash and surprised by good quality from a first time submitter. Many blessings on future makings and productions.

* * * * * * { 6 - 10 } - "Decent"

Lightweight and Flawed

Your flash consists of a maze in which you move the mouse around to avoid the walls. It isn't long at all and has very little replay value. It can be completed in less than a minute and is hardly entertaining. It was only thanks to the review by kevind1989 that I found the expert levels which was more of the same - extremely repetitive.

It feels ugly to play and there's just no fluency to it. There are no moving obstacles to avoid and the game is far too easy. Try making animated objects that lead to defeat upon contact with the mouse and offer levels with variety to break up the repetitiveness of the gameplay and add replay value.

The graphics were terrible. There was nothing animated at all. The details were very little {although the blue lines had a nice blue texture to them.} The podiums were also a little colourful and it was nice to see a torch that shone a red light.

But the yellow text is barely readable and the face, although drawn well, looks more worried than happy. The intro screen just reeks of laziness and there is nothing that shows me that you have any skill or determination to make it look, at least, acceptable - your presentation is just dull. Here are some very basic suggestions...

- Make the lines straighter {they don't all have to be straight though.}
- Add more exciting things to avoid such as animated objects {even lines or simple shapes would really boost this game}
- Add more colour. A white background is just amateur.

I cannot comment on sound because there is none. It's a shame because sound is really important for games. Most games that have simplistic designs have one or two sound effects which work really well. Sound makes gamers more alert and stimulates enjoyment in what they are playing; a lack of sound greatly damages the experience. My recommendations are...

- Find some music. There are a lot of good audio suitable for games like this in the audio portal, look on the top yellow bar for a link to it.
- Add sound effects. {Try making your own with a microphone or download "freecoder" and take sounds from whatever comes out of your speakers}
- Include sound effects for "wall collision" and "next stage".
- Make sure your audio choices suit the atmosphere of the game.

I have also found two major flaws.

%u2022 You can easily cheat by right clicking then moving your mouse over on the face and re-clicking.
%u2022 The password system does not seem to work

Overall the game is lacking many {even basic} things. Add depth to the gameplay and also add lots of detail. Remember to create animated objects in your next submission. The aim of any work on newgrounds is to create an experience and entertain us. Don't blame anybody else for failures; instead look to those with experience to help. There are guides and tutorials scattered across newgrounds {try google too}.

I can't feel excited about your work because it needs major improvements. Your genre of game is limited, but it can be many times better than this. I would love to see your efforts in your next submission though {pm for a review on it} so work hard and I wish you luck.

* { 1 - 10 } - "Bleak"

Tense

NOTE: - I am rating this based on the quality of what you have defined as an extended sound effect or background music.

At first it sounds like a poorly created track playing on a very low bit-rate and slowed down so as a music track it isn't even plausible.

Yet I do see how this music can be used effectively. The slow gaps create a sense or "in and out" either representing a heartbeat or a deep breathing pattern which could be associated with a feeling of tension. I can imagine soldiers in World War II hearing these sorts of sounds in the background; like muffled explosions. In my observation of these though they sound a little "too much in rhythm" - realistic sounds often occur at random so separate the sequence and/or add more sounds which are similar.

It's a short loop, but that's acceptable for I doubt the music would be implemented in long scenes. It would fit nicely into games like "The Last Stand" or "Endless Zombie Rampage" for it has that feeling of isolation and desertion. It also really has that military feel to it as well, and would suit well into serious flashes with army implications.

"The dirt on our faces with soldiers looking into each other's eyes before combat."

You can sense a theme in this music and it would be a nice complement to any flash artist who wanted any form of additions to increase the mood of his/her flash.

* * * * * * * { 7 - 10 } - "Hypnotic"